Malo! Malo! Thanks Be To God!

Well its Thanksgiving here and I have to much to be thankful for! Each week poses different challenges. This week we had two basketball games downtown. I guess because I am always with other JV's I havent really noticed how hard it is to be here sometimes. At basketball games, especially this week I have felt like a complete outsider. It is obvious that I am not from here and the men downtown especially make me feel like that with their gestures. Though it is tough, I have really been praying for it and for the wisdom to understand that those few men who have made me feel like less of a person, do not make up the majority of the people here. My students for one are wonderful and respect me and would never treat me poorly. There are other Chuukese men who have been wonderful towards me and not mocked me and made inappropriate gestures. I have really prayed for strength and guidance to overcome this challenge. I cannot put all men into the category that those men were in. And I cannot have a mindset that all men in Chuuk will act like that towards me and I have to continue to pray for guidance, acceptance, wisom, and strength while here. 
Today I woke up completely refreshed, I even thought twice about getting a cup of coffee because I awoke refreshed, excited for the day, and ready to see my lovely students. This morning we had a school-wide mass that was really beautiful. Fr. Mark gave a great homily and I just felt God's presence more then usual in mass. One of my students, Elie led the choir and she has such a beautiful voice that really makes me feel a strong presence of God. Then I taught two chemistry classes and really felt like I 'taught' and the students 'learned' instead of me just lecturing, which made me feel really great. I think everyday I will be closer and closer to the teacher they need and less of the volunteer who is teaching subjects she doesn't know much about. 
It's my break period and it feels good to be able to update my blog. I still have to teach two classes of English, but then after school the JV's-me, Mike, Peaches, and Alex are going to cook Thanksgiving dinner for the Xavier  Staff. I am really excited to cook and to have a Thanksgiving dinner. Later on for Mike's spirituality night we are going to have another mass but it is going to be a "Mass Under the Stars" and take place on the roof, which will just be really awesome. Because of where we are the stars are so vivid and bright. I also think their will not be a large marom (moon) tonight, which makes the stars really come up. So fingers crossed it doesn't rain!! :) So that is my Chuukese Thanksgiving in a nutshell!!


And I cannot leave without telling you some of the things I am most thankful for:
-my family-i would not be the person i am without them. i love my family, imediate, Ferron's, and Nagy's so much that I cannot put it into words.
-my friends-you guys are amazing, and i am most thankful for those who have still kept in contact with me-it means the world to know i have your support and will continue to have it when i get back
-this experience-it is a true calling and gift from God that I am here right now having this experience
-my community-i could never do this alone
-my students-they can be tough sometimes, but it could be so much worse. they also make me smile with their innocence and spirit which makes me such a happy person when i am around them
-my life experiences-they have shaped me in more ways then i could ever imagine




and of course, God. He has given me more then I ever needed to be happy and I am so happy for all of the prayers He has answered and for helping me sooo much throughout this time and experience. I am so excited to continue to grow closer to Him and feel His presence even more!




Thats all I have!! 
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO EVERYONE!!!!
and as we sang today in mass:
MONO (give thanks), MONO (give thanks), THANKS BE TO GOD!!
em

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven”

            For all of my life, the only poverty that I have seen first hand is that of the starving, those who are unable to obtain health care, those who cannot use their voice and speak out against the government, those who surely stick out to anyone physically poor and needy. We have served those who mourn, who want peace, who are treated unfairly and need help. But for the first time in my life, I have seen a new type of poverty. A type that might not stick out or be seen with our eyes, but one seen within our hearts.

            Beginning on the plane ride over. Many of the people we spoke with about Chuuk thought it was crazy that we were going to be on Chuuk for two years. They told us that it was the “ugly stepchild” of the FSM and there was no hope, no love, nothing encouraging or promising about the island.

            Then learning more about our new home from our second years continued to paint a picture of Chuuk. Much of the reason why Chuuk is failing is due to the respect, of each other and of one’s family. People don’t go to work here and everyone has so much respect for each other that no one gets fired for it, especially when its family. Because of this teachers don’t show up for school and nothing is done about it. The students continuously miss class because there is no one there to teach them. The road, which has digressed and become worse, is being rebuilt, but it will take years for a project that should only take months. Government money goes missing. Crime between villages sometimes ends in murder. The is violence which prevents people from leaving their house after dark and people don’t trust the police. And what is the hardest part is no one seems to care. There isn’t hope for this place. My students, especially the ones that do no come from Chuuk realize the failure of much of this state, yet, no one is working to fix things and it is usually foreigners or peopled educated in the States that see this. And even when they do see it, they can’t wait to get out.

             And so much can be done here, this place has so much potential. So the question then is, what is my role here as JV. Have I just romanticized that idea of volunteering for two years and who I thought I would be helping. Have I only thought that I would be able to help the poor if I fed or clothed them and given them shelter? I think once I saw the different type of poverty here, I felt more at peace. For a while I have been struggle with my placement not only as a teacher, but here in Chuuk. I saw so much injustice, but the part that made me struggle the most was the hopelessness that was in many of the minds here, that things will always be the way they are, and that it was ok.

            Maybe my role here is to give people hope, but maybe my role here is to give myself hope. As part of the JVC covenant says, “Not for their benefit, but for mine.” For a while here I struggled with not being able to share my passions as well as not give the community what I thought was my strengths. But I think one of the real reasons I was called to be here, to Chuuk, is to find an inner hope in myself. To find out what I would fight for, to find out what gives me hope, to find out what my deepest set of passions are.

            And maybe I won’t be able to use those gifts here, maybe the part I need I will not get here. It might take all two years or two years after I leave to figure that out. But I am lucky enough to have been raised and taught to  have hope, to have drive, and to want better for myself, my family, and my community.

            So even though, we may not be called to change things here, maybe we are called to a higher expectation, a higher calling. The Bible verse from Luke 12: 48 says, “to those much has been given, much is expected.” We have been give much. Not only in educational and health, but we have been hope. Therefore, because we have been given so much, much is still expected out of us. So I can’t say that I am going to change things here, but I hope  that I will bring change to myself. That I can promise. 

Post Fall JVC Retreat-My Past Week

            Things here have been busy! Unexpectedly we have a basketball season now! Which is great, but is now taking up most of my free time and evenings. It makes my days longer, which is actually ok because I am getting to know my students, especially the ones on the team on a better and closer level.

            Last weekend the JV’s both Xavier and Saram went to the island of Param for our Fall Retreat. Lin Yua and Tomi (two of our Jesuit novices) lead the retreat and it was so peaceful. It was a silent retreat from Friday night after dinner until 4pm on Saturday. It was actually just what I needed out of the retreat. I got a lot of thinking done and was really happy with how much I journaled and just thought about. Then we had fun, playing games, like Werewolf and 5 Crowns (two of our favorite games!). Sunday we had mass and then some of the children from the village took us around the island. It took about two hours to walk around the whole island and also found some WWII tanks which was really cool! We left Sunday around 3 and got back up to Home Sweet Xavier. Though it was a beautiful island it was nice to have a nice cold shower back at home.

            This week went by pretty slow. I think because of the retreat I felt really myself again here. Sometimes depending on the day or the week, I just don’t feel like myself. But this was a really great week. However, I found out that my great Uncle Bob passed away, which was really sad. I think my Poppy is in my prayers more then ever now! He is just such an inspiration in my life and I only want the best for him and I know how much he misses my Grammie and how lonely he can get when he is by himself. I pray for him to be satisfied and taken care of every night.  I just want him to be loved and cared for.

            Peaches and I went down to Saram on Thursday to spend the night. We didn’t have school Friday because Wednesday was FSM Independence day and we moved our day off to celebrate to Friday so we would have a 3 day weekend. It was really relaxing and we got some shopping done in down town. Just the basics like combs and some snacks. We also ate at one of the restaurants there, we both got Ramen noodlesJ which was delicious. (Yes, we get Ramen noodles when we go out to dinner here!) Then we made the hike up, only a little over half way then got a ride up for the rest of the way.

            Today (Saturday) we planned to climb on of the mountains, but it rained all day and decided not to. I hung out with the community a bit and also talked with some of the boys hanging out in the study hall. They really are really great kids. Sometimes I forgot how awesome they actually are, because they are just so bad in class, but really they so great and wonderful. I am blessed for having those kids in my life.

            We also got 3 new pigs! (Xavier) and will have then until graduation until, the majority of the staff…eats them. haha But they are cute and though I will be upset to kill them, I think I understand how the culture here views them, as means to food and not pets. I think we need to respect that for them.

            That about all I have this week. I have two basketball games on Monday and Wednesday which will be a lot of fun. Busy, but fun. So far we are 0-1 haha. We lost against the best team in the state so I guess we didn’t do that bad J The only good thing here is that they do love winning, but they really just enjoy the competitiveness and it doesn’t matter if you win or lose, which makes me a lot happier when we do lose J

But if anyone would like to help the school out below are things we are in need of:

Basketballs

Books-any books, just lots of books for our library!

School Supplies

Construction Paper

Tongue Depressors

Band Aides

Medical Masks

Computer paper

Computer Toner

And anything else you can think of just ask!

Love!

Em