A Hidden Secret

For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man..... In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God. -1 Corinthians 11:8-9,11-12

From past experience of visiting Nicaragua and Ecuador and hearing stories from volunteers, I knew living in Micronesia or any developing country, would be tough, especially since I am a woman. I knew there would be things I would not be allowed to do anything, I would not be allowed to dress how I normally dress, and I would be restricted the cultural way in which the women behave. And I was ready for the challenge.

Living at a boys boarding school, I have had many experiences with those ideas of not being able to fully be myself. No I cant play the Annual Capture the Flag game because the boys would feel uncomfortable having a girl play, no I cant sleep over on an outer island with the boys when all the male staff are invited, no I cant climb coconut trees, no I cant pound breadfruit, no I cant ride in a local style canoe, and no I cannot help built a native hut. All because of my gender.

No's and Cant's are words heard here often by members of the female faculty here at Xavier High School. Though at times we argue that it is unfair or sexist, but it is a part of the culture that many of us have grown used to and became familiar with. As a "tomboy" I have had some troubles with these realities but realized how much more not participating in these things puts me in solidarity with the women of Micronesia who have to be submissive the majority of their lives.

In February I was invited to attend a funeral with my family. Funerals in Micronesia are a big deal and a huge family affair. My grandma's sister past away and as tradition goes here, the women of the family have to sleep in the room where the funeral was, usually a meeting house or hut for 9 days. I was invited to sleep in the meeting house for one night and was finally able to see something beautiful about the role of women here. I was finally able to see something women Can do, and men Cant.

It was the women not the men who were allowed to sleep in the house together, over 50 lovely ladies singing songs, playing the ukulele, and celebrating life and the love they had all lost. I was able to see how beautiful the bond the women in a family have and how much fun they have with each other. It was all singing, smiling, and giggling the whole night, as the men sat outside and watched the house. It was one of the coolest experiences to this day that I have had here in Micronesia. Prior to this, I was always focused on the Nos and Cants of the women here in Micronesia and that night my eyes were opened to what a beautiful thing the women in Micronesia have going on here. They have this close family connection to each other and are some of the strongest and charismatic people I have ever met. It doesnt stick out or is out in the open, it is something so hidden, but so marvelous at the same time. 

For many areas of the world, it is a reality that men and women will be treated different. As a woman, it continues to be a struggle for me, but when I see something as wonderful as what I experienced that night, it reminds me that women  might not be shown publicly as strong figures, but they really the rulers of the houses and some of the strongest people I have ever had the chance of meeting.